Come Back Next Week

I'll be away from the blog for a few days as I'm heading out to Kansas City for the long weekend. Come back next week and I'll have pictures of my trip and such. Thanks again for making my corner of the internet one of you stopping places.

No Way

I'll never get this close to a gator without a 9mm in my hand.

A Lot Less Arguing

I don't think too many men would argue a ticket with an officer dressed like this. Maybe Charlie should try it.

Riding The Croc

Now this is a cool bike.

She's All Over The Internets

I seem to see a lot more of Jordan Carver lately than even Lucy Pinder on the internets.

This Made Me Chuckle

Where's The Diet?

Back in the day I used to drink Diet 7up in the liter returnable bottles. Makes me wonder where the returnables went, if we're all supposed to be "earth friendly" and not use the one time only plastic bottles.

This Kills Me

Its gotta be nasty to put your bare butt in the urinal.

Hell Yes They Hurt

But I took all 7 of mine like a man.

I Want One

George has this button on his backpack. Here's his take on it.

Fast

Here's a link to a guy who was drunk driving his Camaro SS at 152 mph two seconds before crashing into a car, killing the passenger. I didn't think the SS went quite that fast, I figured they had a speed govenor on them.
My brother's BMW has a govenor that limits the top end to 155. He recently admitted to having it up to 145 on I-5. I think the fastest I've ever had a car up to was 105, in my 77 Monte Carlo. I miss that car and should never have given it away.
I've ridden my old V65 Sabre 143 mph in Nevada.

Any of you want to admit to your top end? Don't bullshit me, just tell me the truth.

Stats

62.4% of my visitors are coming from the US. My newest country is Saint Kitts and Nevis. Have you ever heard of it? I've heard of Saint Kitts, it's in the Caribbean somewhere. That makes a total of 124 countries represented on the blog. Stuff like this just interests the hell out of me.

Take The Test

Xavier had a link to the Citizenship Test that he says every voter should have to take before voting. Here's the link to the old test. I took it and missed 5 out of 100, though I could have argued a couple of them. Take the test yourself and fess up your score.

Upon Edit- X says you should have to correctly answer 5 random questions off the test, as well as 5 current affairs topics.

The Best Thing I've Ever Seen On TV, So Far

Here's an article out of the Baltimore Sun defending The Wire and here's a Letter to the Editor saying the gist of The Wire is all true.

I loved The Soprano's, for the most part. But The Wire is the best series I've ever seen on TV.

Kym Marsh Shoulder And Back Tattoos

Kym Marsh is a charming English actress and singer, known as a member of the pop group Hear'Say, and for her role on the soap opera Coronation Street.

Kym Marsh has a single Kanji symbol tattoo on her left shoulder, along with three more on her lower back. She also has the names of her two children (David and Emily) tattooed in Sanskrit on her left shoulder.

For The Gang Of Three

This Kills Me

If

If I could ever find a barber that looked like this, I'd be one styling man.

I Like Diet Pepsi

See, I can eat all of this without a problem. But I drink Diet Pepsi because it tastes good. Better than the regular stuff.

Trophy Wife

Don't Pass Out At The Party

This Looks Like Chico

That Chico is a cookie eating dog. Its odd, he'll take the cookie then run away and eat it. Either on the couch or on the bed.

I've Seen This

Back in the day, a few of us drove to Phoenix to golf for a week in June. Hot as hell. We were out and about when, IIRC, we saw a for real bikini car wash. This was certainly in the day before digital photography, which in itself is a shame. We had a rental car so we didn't partake of the car wash.

Doomed To Fail

Back in the day, Charlie, Rich and I had ridden to LA from the Bay Area. We were in Hollywood and Charlie decided he wanted a "No Parking" sign. So, he shimmied up the pole and hand turned the bolts. Volia, it came off without a hitch.
"Gee" I thought, "I want one too." So with a bit more effort than Charlie, and some help, I got my sign. I kept it for the longest time but I don't think I have it any more. What struck me was how dirty the sign was. I guess the dirty LA air stuck to the signs.

The Joey Guide

I didn't realize I had a guide named after me.

Sunday's Golf

I actually drug out the clubs on Sunday and played in the first Daddy Longball GC outing of the year. We played the Ranch course at Diablo Grande, outside of Patterson. I played the Ranch course when it was the only course there, in fact it was the day Josh graduated high school. Now there's another course, the Legends, that the club is playing later on in the year.
I parred the first hole and bogied the second, in fact I didn't play all that bad until the turn. Scores of 9,9,10 and 13 twice pretty much turned my day into shit. I did shoot 54 on the front but turned in an embarassing 70 on the back, to total 124. I can only post 8 strokes per hole, so my 124 turns into a 110 on my club card. 14 strokes of adjustment is just sad. I only had 17 putts on the back, but 21 on the front knocked me out of the lowest putts competition.
Finally on the 18th I parred to salvage my ego.
The course was in top shape for the middle of January, though Spring is starting to show itself in California.
If you're interested in the club results, I've started a club blog here.
The top pic is me (in shorts no less) posing with the cute cart girl, Sandra. Since I met my Sandra I've noticed a lot more gals with the same name. They've all been pretty good looking, from the actresses Sandra Oh and Sandra Bullock, to the most beautiful Sandra of all, the one I'm married to.
The middle pic is the clubhouse from the 10th tee and the bottom pic is the smallish driving range, which had new mats to hit off of.

Shawn Marion Tattoos

Shawn Marion is a excellent American professional NBA basketball player, known for his time with the Phoenix Suns and Dallas Mavericks. Also known by his nickname The Matrix.

Shawn Marion has a row Chinese symbols on his right leg, which were meant to translate into his nickname "The Matrix". However many have reported that these Chinese symbols translate into "Demon, Bird and Camphor" instead.

He also has a tattoo design on each arm, once of which appears to be a cross with dragon.

Wendy, Jordan and Taylor Do Lunch

Or they're bringing lunch. Or something like that.

I Want A Hundred Of These

No, I didn't get one on my car. Neither did Sandra.

Here's The Crew

Here's the crew I wanted to hire to do the work on the condo. Sandra had other ideas.

This Kills Me Two

A Good Look For The Office

Sexy Spiderwoman

What Do You Think?

Can it pass for Star Trek? I'm not nerdy enough to know if its really from some other show.

This Kills Me

I Know, I Know

Sometimes my humor is just tiring.

Cool Tattoo

The youngest of my Nieces to Pieces, Natalie, got this tattoo recently and put it on her facebook. I hope to see Nat and the other nieces soon. Its been a long time, way too long.

Why I Have Problems With Food

This looks pretty damn tasty. Here's the link to see how its made. Thanks to Damn Cool Pics for the link.

What 4th Amendment?

Here's a link to a New Jersey school district going to vote on drug testing middle school children. Of course I disagree with it. Its bad enough my 4th Amendment rights are acceptably violated every time I have to pee in a cup, but c'mon now.
And, notice that there's no testing of teachers, support staff, or administrators. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Link from The Agitator.

Sharp Stockings

And high heels.

Never Enough

There's never enough pics of pretty gals with sharp cars.

This Made Me Chuckle

I'm Pissed At KFOX

The sons of bitches at KFOX are all happy faced that they're going to be broadcasting on 102.1 in SF and the northern parts of the Bay Area. They've hired Rick Stewart (a local DJ) to work one of the broadcast shifts. BFD.
What they didn't say is that they cut the Nikki Sixx show. Bastards! I like listening to Sixx and his crew. They play music I like and grew up with. Hell, now I just as well should listen to KBAY and "soft rock with less talk."

I. Am. Not. Happy.

On edit: I forgot to add that on the website, there's no way to email anyone at the station to complain. What a bunch of pussies.

Good Quotes From Bill Maher

"New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in. I'll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain."

"If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope"

"When I hear from people that religion doesn't hurt anything, I say, really? Well besides wars, the Crusades, the Inquisitions, 9-11, ethnic cleansing, the suppression of women, the suppression of homosexuals, fatwas, honor killings, suicide bombings, arranged marriages to minors, human sacrifice, burning witches, and systematic sex with children, I have a few little quibbles. And I forgot blowing up girl schools in Afghanistan."

All this came from the daily FFRF blurb that I get every day. You should be a member.

Thug Police Rob Citizens In Lansing Michigan

Here's the link from The Agitator. The gist is that the Oakland County SO raided a pot dispensary/magazine/hydro store. They took all the cash from the till, and they took the cash out of the pockets of the employees and customers. If that isn't armed robbery, I don't know what is. Sure, you can file suit to get your money back, but its going to cost you more in fees than the few dollars you had in your pocket. Hell, I'd sue them in small claims court. Oh, and nobody was arrested. This is your "war on drugs." Stealing cash out of sick people's pockets. Remind me never to go to Lansing, Michigan.

A Good Quote

“If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.”

James Madison

I poached this from DOF. The first thing I thought of when I saw this was the Patriot Act, of which there's nothing patriotic about surrendering away our rights.

The Guild Are Pussies

I guess I didn't read the furlough letter quite close enough. The Guild (the writers and all the inside staff) has already voted to accept the week furlough and they're not accruing vacation either. What a bunch of lie down for the company fucks. They got the "attaboy" from the Publisher. Well, good for them. I hope like hell the Teamsters tell them all to go fuck themselves.
Even Sandra agreed that vacation is priceless and not something to be given away. The rest of the unions are in talks for the furlough and vacation issues.

More From Little Johnny

>>LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rocky and was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was OK Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him. Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.' ;-) <<

Poached from Stuart.

For My Russian Pal Meesha

Here's a link to a bunch of Russian safety posters. They're pretty interesting and they have translations.

Another One Bites The Dust

At one of our branches, these two Home Delivery Teamsters hate each others guts. OK, it happens. There's a few people in my 23+ years that I wasn't too fond of either.
This one big wig wasn't getting his paper every day. The carrier was insistent he was delivering it. The manager, we'll call him D, would go out and check it. It would be there but still the big wig is calling in. Hmmmmm. Looks like someone's stealing it.
This goes on for a while and supervision is knee deep in this. Their solution, as always, is to fire the carrier. (that shows how progressive in thought supervision is at my company)
Well, D goes up to check the delivery yet again. What does he find, but his arch enemy. (we'll call him C) C is caught red handed stealing the paper from the big wig's house. C, under questioning, admits to stealing the paper the entire time this has been an issue. So, C gets the axe.
Now, you've gotta be pretty stupid to get caught. C parked right in front of the house so when D drove up, their cars were nose to nose.
If it had been me, I would have denied it. Its a "he said, she said" scenario. And, I wouldn't have parked right in front of the house. Sometimes, we hire idiots on both sides of the equation.
And the worse part is that C put the carrier's route at risk just to get back at D. I've been an adult carrier and its every single day. There's no "calling in sick" or anything like that. And you can bet dollars to donuts that the carrier really needs the money he makes off the route.

Thank You Jesus!

More Mercury Silliness

Almost two years ago, the Merc announced that all of us would take a week's unpaid furlough. I blogged about it here. Two years later, today, our publisher announced that we're ALL taking a week's furlough.
Nothing about it has changed from two years ago. Taking a week off is a collective bargaining issue, one that the company can't just impose on us. And, where is the cost savings in hiring someone to drive my truck while I'm off?
One thing different is that some employees, and I'm not sure who, have stopped accruing vacation, in order to "save money." I can name 5 front line circulation supervisors who can go right now to save money. And a department head.

If this does actually come to fruition, I'll be at Sandy Beach with Chico The Dog.

Looks Like Lois

I didn't post this for the not so funny quip, but doesn't the gal look like Lois Griffin?

Wear Your Seat Belts

I've Not Seen This

Not at any construction site I've ever been to.

Another Cool Scarf

Counting Down The Days

I'll be in KCMO soon enough. Weekend after next.

I Could Never Do This

I can't even touch my toes without bending my knees.

I Want One

This is a pretty sharp scarf.